I found this post while surfing the net through my datacard (T1 gone to hell). Since the original site is blocked by BITS net, I took the liberty of copying the contents here, giving the author credit for his work. It's a short remembrance, but intensely emotional. His wife is a sufferer of ventricular aneurysm (heart defect). I hope you guys like it.

A Field Guide to Scars

bytennmac©

My wife has a scar under her chin. It has been there since childhood, and is not the result of a single incident, but rather of multiple encounters with the driveway, the tree limb, the hockey stick, and any other hard object in the vicinity. When she has had quite enough guff, thank you very much, she leads with that chin, and the scar becomes visible. I believe this to constitute truth in advertising, a visual warning, similar to a tiger's growl, signifying that your continued existence is only on her sufferance.

I love this scar. It proclaims that she is not a girly-girl, and demands respect for doing foolish things in foolish ways and surviving, bloodied perhaps, but unbowed.

My wife has a scar on her belly. It has been there since the birth of our third son, who was so wrapped up in his umbilical cord that he was choking himself, an entirely characteristic manner of behavior we were to learn as he matured. After 2 "routine" vaginal deliveries of 9 pounders, though how the word "routine" could possibly be assigned to this task is beyond me, we were cocky, so sure that we had everything well in hand.

And then his heart rate started to drop. It came back up in a few seconds, but it went down again with each contraction, and starting coming back to baseline more and more slowly. Finally, it did not come back up. I stood watching a line on a graph revealing my child's mortal peril. The L&D staff hurried about their tasks with urgency and professional calm, preparing her for what was necessary. I need to be strong I told myself, she needs me to be calm and supportive. I looked in her eyes and started to stammer out those platitudes appropriate to the situation. I could see my fear reflected back to me, but she smiled, squeezed my hand and told me that this is what she deserved for marrying a man a foot taller and 100 pounds heavier. We laughed far harder than this weak jest merited.

I love this scar. It speaks to me of that special courage of women, and of the particular courage of one woman. It was narrow and pink at first, but gradually faded to a shade just a bit lighter than her natural skin tone. Originally, there was a zone of numbness around it, about an inch wide, but as time went on, that zone narrowed, and now, only the scar itself is still insensitive. Still, I kiss it anytime I am in the vicinity, as it speaks to me of her strength, and what a mother undertakes for her children.

My wife has scars and bruises all over her legs. She is the mother of three boys, and with that comes football, baseball, soccer, and Boy Scouts. She was a swimmer herself, and could not have cared less about these kinds of things, but she made herself into quite the coach as necessity required.

I love these scars too. Our joke has been that should I piss her off enough, she could have me sent to prison for wife abuse simply by showing the cops her legs.

My wife has a scar on her chest, where her right breast used to be. She was too young and too healthy to have breast cancer, but apparently the breast cancer was unaware of these prerequisites, and attacked her anyway. She has always had beautiful breasts, and I a committed breast man. I remember sitting there in the doctor's office thinking that I was going to smash the face of this quack for frightening her (me?) so much with this rubbish. I remember how helpless I felt. I remember how calm she was, so matter of fact, until she came home from the hospital, and we saw the wound together for the first time.

I love this scar more than all the others put together. She didn't believe that then, and I suspect that she doesn't believe it now, but it is true. She was sure that I would be repulsed, that she was not just scarred, but mutilated. Nevertheless, I have a passionate love for this scar. That scar meant that she lived. Every kiss, every caress, every act of love, every fuck since then has been because of that scar. The cosmetic repair after wards is fine, but the scar saved her life. That scar gave us the past 15 years, the boat that we always wanted to retire to, the endless days of sailing the Caribbean, the fun of watching our boys match wits with their boys.

My wife has a scar on the front wall of her heart. I do not love this scar. This scar is going to kill her, and quite soon as it happens. She never did trust me to plan and pack for any of our trips, so she will go ahead to prepare a place for us. Then the only scars will be mine.

On reading this, I have already made up my mind to apply for an organ donor card. Someday, when my heart (or any other organ) will cease to be of any use to me, it might prevent this kind of heartbreak by saving someone else.

Trifling Things

The great persons are always great in their own field but sometimes behave like a person below the normal level. A professor in Mathematics sometimes cannot calculate accurately the price of the vegetables worth some rupees in the market, or a writer sometimes fails to write an ordinary letter in a proper language. But such trifling things do not degrade them. The great scientist Isaac Newton made two holes - one big and one small for his favourite cat and kitten for coming and going at any time freely in his laboratory, lacking common sense that one big hole was enough for both of them and also go out of it. But this fact never discredited his worth in science.

The army commander of Peshva of Maratha Emperor Bapu Gokhale was a famous warrior. He could defeat the British army in one of the battle because of his bravery, courage and valour. Once, while shaving he got a small cut by the razor on the chin. He could not bear the pain. He expressed the agony in painful gestures. For teasing him the barber said, “Sir, you are the Commander of Maratha army. You fought many battles bravely. But still, I wonder you are not able to endure a small cut. How could you sustain the attacks of swords in the battlefield?” Saying this, he smiled sarcastically. Bapu kept quiet.

After finishing the haircut, he asked the barber to stand with a right foot forward; then placed his own foot upon the barber’s foot. Thereafter he took a giant spear and suddenly pierced it through his own foot with force. The spear head pierced in the ground through Bapu’s and Barber’s foot. The piercing was so painful that the barber starting crying loudly. The pain was severe and unbearable, Bapu kept cool and quiet. He calmly said, “This is the way we fight on the battle field and endure the wounds of swords”.

*The following is an extract from S.P.Nimballar's Pearls of Wisdom. Its an excellent story, immensely entertaining and inspiring. Please read it.

- Sachin Joglekar

Odisha: The Eastern Shangri-La

Did you know that a state called Orissa exists in Eastern India? Of course you do, right? But how much do you know about it? States like Maharashtra, Uttar Pradesh and even Goa have quite a lot of popularity amongst the people, due to obvious reasons, but my native state, Orissa remains, sadly amongst the shadows. Mind, I’m calling it ‘Orissa’ because that’s probably the way you have heard about it. But actually, a few months back, the name changed to ‘Odisha’. Well, I just thought I’ll give you a little insight into it.

Unfortunately, I don’t remember much of my childhood days there (except for maybe swallowing two tea spoons of salt at once and also shaving my non-existent moustache with a razor). Thus I’ll give you an account of what I’ve learnt about the state after I left it, and also on my frequent visits there.

Orissa is unique in the quality of its roadside food and also innovative foodie manipulations. For example, have you ever tried pouring water over cooked rice, let it kinda ferment for a day and then eat it?? Sounds weird, but it is actually one of the biggest delicacies in Orissa, called the ‘Pakhala’. Throw in a few pieces of fried fish and mashed potato, and you have one of the most delicious meals ever!.. And since we are such foodies, we just give feasts to all the people living nearby, for just about everything: Birth, Death, Birthdays, Death Anniversaries, Success in the exams, you name them..

Moving on to the people there. One prominent factor about them (I am no longer under the habit) is that they love their sleep. Love as in, Mania! They will never compromise on their sleep. In the afternoons, even the busiest parts of the city lapse into silence (broken frequently by loud snores, of course). But, the people there are really very hard working and sincere. Helpfulness is often an in-built feature among the Oriya (Odia) people. A shopkeeper will never hesitate to guide (or even lead) you to his rival’s shop, if the need be.

Another interesting feature of my fellowmen is that they are satisfied quite easily. They won’t care for big money or big fame. They don’t care about using intensive farming techniques for increasing their yield as long as their tummies are getting filled. Of course this does reduce the high profile robberies there, but ambition is a quality that is often felt missing. Many people do blame that factor for the backwardness of the state.

Well, those were most of the unique and interesting features of my state. I’ll conclude by saying that I am extremely proud of the fact that I belong to Odisha and I sincerely hope, it does develop and reach new heights!

Cheers!

~~Sushobhan Parida

Call of Honour.

“Constitution is for a real union of the Indian people, built on the basic concept of sovereignty of the people, to ensure them Justice. That is the real spirit of the Constitution.”

- Sardar Vallabh Bhai Patel

Presently, there’s quite a great movement going around against corruption embodied by Anna Hazare’s determination to provide a solution through the lokpal bill. It’s quite remarkable to see people from all walks of life amalgamated to support him through peaceful and non violent resentment against the government’s belated anti corruption actions. It is indeed pride worthy for all Indians to participate and to support his movement against corruption. Anna Hazare’s movement has popular support making it easier to carve an anti corruption revolution throughout the country, but various thoughts accompanied with erroneous dynamism might have some serious repercussions on the impression that it leaves of the constitution of India on the people’s minds.

One of the obvious impression being the despise of the constitution of the country is that it is considered long as sluggish, long winded ,another opinion going even to the farthest extent saying

” Dream, just a hollow dream. Isn’t it? Ask yourself. Are people of India ‘really united’ as one nation? Or are we seeing with the very naked eyes the abrasive reality of politics based on region & religion? Are the people ‘the real sovereigns’? Or is the power a game of money & muscle for few elites? Is common man at the receiving end of the justice? Or does the figure of one judicial proceeding behind every 25 persons of India demystify the reality that Justice is being chased, on & on for months, years, decades? A horde of question marks, in a vain pursuit of few full stops!”

Such opinions are indeed frank and just, at the first glance, but the first line introducing the issue indirectly question the constitution of India. India is sovereign and the sovereignty is exercised by the people owing to the fundamental rights provided by the constitution. The fact that behind the hardships that a common man faces are indeed revealed through such mass protests and agitations like the ones seen recently, which is appreciable but they shouldn’t be ever exercised to despise of the county’s constitution, making it an inaccurate discussion or protest. For instance, even the face of the lokpal bill Anna Hazare refrains from undermining the importance of the constitution but seeks to reform it rather than abusing it, even after having struggled to bring change for decades through peaceful protests and selfless, serene efforts

The people should today come to realize that the constitution of this country is the identity provider to the nation, amending itself continuously through parliamentary procedures to meet modern day- common man grievances. No democracy in the world can sustain and pay heed to the views of 1.21 billion people through a channelized framework. We are indeed fortunate to have an unprejudiced constitution giving people opportunity to present their opinions through peaceful means and affecting decision making process through a legal system bestowed by the constitution. For instance , a biased constitution had lead to civil war in Sri lanka due to the majoritarianism approach adopted by the constitution, in 1989 in china ,thousands were killed as troops were send to crush peaceful pro democratic protests owing to the communist government type adopted. It might be frustrating for the common man to watch a law been made, then passing through long parliamentary procedures but that’s the process one has to adopt to sustain a democratic framework. It is indeed infamous for belated decisions but those decisions are indeed successful for at least the maximum number of people the law addresses to.

Indeed there is an urgent need of amendment of several laws as they become old and inefficient corresponding to current scenarios, but that has to happen through views, thoughts, conventions etc. keeping a patient and positive mindset. The Jan lokpal bill provides a remarkable example with activists using their rights as their support and the public opinion as their aide. Our laws and rights are indeed the cement that holds the nation with honour; you can always repair them, but never entirely replace them.

~~Prasoon Mehta

Thy Art- A Dream !

It was a rainy morning, the first time i saw her!

It was a quick glance, the first thing i stole from her!

It was a heart beat, that it took for me to realise!

It was a smile, that confirmed : she felt the same!

My heart ached for a word, her face produced a smile!

My butterflies came alive, on her face came the life!

My mouth went dry, her eyes went searching!

My eyes were feasting, her hair was blowing!

It had to blossom, It had to live!

I had to do it, or I had to lose!

I chose to do, and that for my loss!

I said the words, and recieved a smile!

All was well, All thy plan!

All thy gift, All thy art!

It was then, came the roar!

"Son, wake up,you have an exam today"!

~~Sarath Menon

Lokpal - A Brief Insight

The crowd becomes larger each time. The lathi charge/warnings of the police does not deter it, the appeals by the govt does not move it. It is mersmerised by a single sight –an old man sitting cross- legged on the floor,who has been fasting since dawn. Reminds us of the pre-independence times, when Gandhiji challenged the British authorities in much the same way. This time the fight is even bigger- the fight against corruption.

But before taking up this fight/before taking up banners and marching to the Ramlila Maidan, lets make sense of what we are actually demanding. Lets at at least think about how the Jan Lokpal Bill plans to fight the evil of corruption.

The Jan Lokpal Bill aims to counter corruption at every level of governance, excluding not even the Prime Minister. The Lokpal, once established will be supervised by the EC,making it free from all ministerial and governmental influence. And perhaps the most admirable feature of the Jan Lokpal Bill is the time limit it has set to tackle all cases of corruption (it’s a max of two years).

But apart from all these remarkable features, there are a few others which need to be highlighted-

1) The Lokpal will have all police powers including the authority to register FIRs.
2) The Lokpal will be the only institution to tackle all corruption charges. All existing anti-
corruption govt agencies will be merged with the Lokpal itself.
3) There is no provision in the Bill by which any decision taken by the Lokpal can be challenged or questioned by any court.

All these put together, make the Lokpal a completely autonomous and independent institution,
making it free from being accountable to any higher authority. But what if the Lokpal itself
gets consumed by the very evil it is fighting? What if the Lokpal itself gets corrupt? As it is, any
corruption charges against the judges of the Lokpal will be investigated by the Lokpal itself.
The lokpal has given itself absolute power regarding any matter related to corruption. But
power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

I am not of the opinion that corruption does not need to be tackled. Especially after the recent
scams that have been uncovered, it is essential that every Indin takes up the fight against
corruption. Its time to take drastic steps to fight graft. And the Jan Lokpal Bill is an admirable
step in that direction. Only, it needs to be revised, it needs to be improved. But lets not dampen
our enthusiasm and lets continue the fight against corruption.

Jai Hind

- Nikita Mirchandani

Some tricks to become a Pro Conversationalist

Person 1: Hey wassup?
Person 2: Nm. Going to colg. Wbu?
Person 1: Hmmm..
Person 2: ummm..k.hey i gtg..bye..cya..tc
Person 1: K..bye!!
The above convo is one of the best examples of a convo gone wrong! How many times has it happened to you, that the excitement of meeting someone fizzled out just because you didn't know what to say? This is not an unusual phenomenon, it happens to all of us! Many a times after saying goodbye to someone, we end up feeling that the interaction COULD have been better. So what is the solution to this? Believe me, it does not take a great conversationalist to liven up a meeting..
Here are two handy 'tricks' to save a dying convo, or to make sure you don't end up prematurely terminating your dialogue..

Trick 1: The 'old friend' technique
Many a times, the reason people don't open up to you soon, is because of the lack of 'TOTAL' comfort. We, as human beings, are naturally inclined to be reserved while dealing with someone we don't know too much. Then how do we break through this wall without too much of effort? The key is understanding unconscious perception.

Whenever we meet someone, the way we behave and talk with the other person creates an impression of us in his SUBCONSIOUS mind. He/she may not realise this, but this subconscious impression tends to influence his attitude and mindset towards us.

So how do we create the right impression? It dosent take too much..just be AT EASE! And the way you can do so is..IMAGINE THAT THE oTHER PERSON IS ONE OF YOUR OLDEST
FRIENDS, WHOM YOU ARE MEETING AFTER MANY YEARS. This may seem a little weird initially, but psychological studies have shown that it truely works! When we behave with
someone as if he is an old friend, his mind immediately recognises the 'friendly' signals and gets comfortable interacting with you. This increased ease livens up the
interactions which otherwise would have been quite dull. It may be difficult at first, but once you get used to it, just see how you and others (even those people whom you aren't too comfortable with) get along!

Trick 2:The 'repetition' technique
This technique is more of a 'trick' than last one. And a complete 'no-brainer' at that! Every conversation can be imagined as a tennis game. When you start a conversation, you basically 'serve'. This puts the ball in the other person's court. He has to strike back by replying to you. Now, the problem occurs when the ball is in YOUR court but you don't know what to say (how to strike)! This can be seen in the conversation example I gave at the beginning of this article..

'Person 1: Same here! Njoying colg life..
Person 2: Cool..'

Here the ball was in Person 2's court but he had no idea what to say! So what should he have done to avoid the blunder of saying something as dull as 'cool'? This is where the 'repetition technique' comes into play. What the guy should have said is- "Njoing colg life? Cool.. How?' As you see, this isn't too intelligent, but it does the job, as it puts the ball directly in Person 1's court! As a result of this simple question, Person 2 makes Person 1 elaborate on his college life,
thus bringing up new topics for discussion.
So the basic idea is this..Whenever you sense that you have nothing interesting to say, just ask the other person something directly related to his LAST WORDS TO YOU.Repeat it if needed (but intelligently..don't overdo it).


Hope the above two techniques help you the next time you don't wanna abruptly end your chats with people \m/
Post by
~~ Sachin Joglekar